ahahaha I really look up to you as a person and now I feel really shitty about myself and my opinions because I worded something wrong and you go onto me for it I didn;t mean it like that I would never mean it like that I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m shit and I’m stupid I’m sorry

what’s stupid is I’m too afraid to talk to my other partner about this exact same thing, because I don’t want him to think I’m abandoning him.

I still feel like a shitty person but okay

maybe we can fix things in the future

hah, yes, make me feel like a shitty person

that’s exactly what’s going to make this completely bomb

I’m not reacting the way I should to this

at least not internally.

the suggestion doesn’t make me hurt, like it would have before.

It’s just a dull sort of pain, because I love him, I love them both, but it’s just not there anymore. Not like it used to be

But I don’t want to break up with them because I know how they’ll take it, I know who they’ll blame

and it will make things horrible.

And I don’t want to lose either of them…

Its a potent song, bro.

it’s a dumb song

I AM NOT GETTING SICK OF YOU ;A;

I know, it just feels like it sometimes

HELL YES WE WOULD MISS YOU IF YOU LEFT. Why didn’t you talk to me about this!? ;A;

I didn’t want to log into skype

luke calmed me down though and helped me stop crying last night so it’s okay

the stupid thing is that this was all triggered by a fucking song

little lion man by mumford and son

what really scares me if dor the first tie in my life I’m having suicidal thoughts and I don;t wnt to but I keep thinking everything will be better if I kill myself

no one would have to deal with me anymore

but they still would because it’s selfish for me to kill myself because everyone would be upset and shit and I just really really really hate myself right now

I;m sorry I won;t kill myself but I keep thinking it

I need help I’m sorry